Imaginative Discussions: I Left Because…

Posted November 6, 2016 by Maryam in Imaginative Discussions, Maryam / 11 Comments

Imaginative Discussions

HI. So if you realised, I haven’t been here for quite awhile. I would say that it’s due to studies and work, but that would frankly be a lie, because I did manage to write reviews on Goodreads, so why not here or on my personal book blog? Lemme tell you why.

I thought of leaving.

Gasp.

Yes, I did. I thought of leaving the book community. Not because I suddenly got tired of reviews or that I rarely read any more. I was just feeling very….. strangled. By what? Society’s opinions. Or rather, the book community’s opinions. Is it just me, or have most people in the book community turned into judgemental people? Everyone is so quick to judge people, labelling them as the ‘bad person’ in the community. I’m not personally referring to anyone. I do it too, myself. And that made me take a step back. Like, do I hate this person because I truly disagree with what she’s saying? Or do I hate her because the book community hates her?

And that’s when I knew I needed to step out for awhile. Everyone is so quick to judge, so quick to call out on someone. Let me tell you a story: A few months ago, remember the whole gun control issue? Well, I definitely said that I wanted gun control. But a friend of mine, Jessi or rather, also known as NovelHeartbeat, had a different opinion, and it shocked me. My immediate reaction was to call her out on it. And when she stuck to her opinion, I unfollowed her. AND THAT, my friend, took me by surprise. Because to be honest, I respect her, she is an amazing bookstagrammer and person. How could I have judge her as someone not ‘worthy’ of being my friend, based on one stupid opinion? And her reasonings made sense too. I lost a good person, a good friend, guys. Until now, I am legit ashamed to talk to her, because of what I had done. Here’s a personal apology to you, Jessi, if you’re reading this: You’re an amazing person and I should have agree to disagree instead of being so quick to judge and label you. I’m truly sorry. Nobody deserves that kind of treatment.

Those of you who are reading this, that was my mistake. But what about you? Have you done the same? Think of it, guys. What is usually the first thing we do when we realise someone has a different opinion? We call them out for it and pretty soon, that person would get attacked by pretty much 90 percent of the book community. Is that fair? Seriously?

I am truly HONESTLY tired of people from the book community looking for fights every single bloody damn day. Fight for diverse reads. Fight for whitewashing. YES, I agree that we need diverse reads, but TRULY, must y’all attack EVERY author who does not have a POC in their book? Yes, they should include POC but friends, battles aren’t won overnight. It takes days, months, years. Authors are trying, and those who don’t, it doesn’t make them the bad person. Have you ever thought that MAYBE just maybe an author has not written in any POC because they are not confident about the cultures, the backgrounds and they just don’t want to mess it up?

I’m not picking any fights. I’m just putting this out there that maybe everyone needs to take a step back and think: have you been an unintentional bully to someone, while trying to defend what you THINK is right?

Because that’s what y’all are doing, and I’m sorry, I do not support that. I support diverse reads, I support gun control, but that does not mean I support 817374 people attacking that ONE person for having different opinions.

(I truly don’t have any intention to hurt anyone, I promise. And I apologise in advance to my co-bloggers if this post backfires. I truly mean no harm.)

MaryamSig_Purple

11 responses to “Imaginative Discussions: I Left Because…

  1. You, my friend, are 100000% correct! Having a different opinion doesn’t make you a bad person. Most of the time. I mean, it really depends on the issue. But there’s a difference between having a different opinion and actually searching for a reason to fight with someone. Society can’t be changed overnight. And I’d rather have someone write a damn good diverse character, than try and butcher it. Also, I find it funny how there’s a third voice out there, with some people saying that white, privileged authors should stay away from writing diverse/POC characters, because the can’t possibly know what they’re writing about. Talk about different opinions. I’ve noticed the need for fighting as well, which is why I’m mostly a lurker, engaging only in book conversations, which is sad, because I want to have meaningful conversations with so many people in this community, but don’t because of this very reason. It’s sad, it’s really really sad.
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  2. Wow, thank you for your post this is something I have to consider as I have finally thought of starting my blog about books and other hobbies, but this is something completely new and I have had no idea it is like this. Well, obviously I have been aware of book bloggers mentioning that this is their opinion and theirs only and they don’t mean to harm anyone’s feelings etc..You know yourself when you write a blog, and me as a regular follow up person, sometimes it has felt unnecessary cos obviously that’s the bloggers personal point of view and as i don’t care much if some people as totally crazy about books I am not, or they are reading one type of genre books – none of my business to judge..Well, i seriously assumed bookish ppl are same.
    And I do find this ridiculous (bookish fights) as a general reader who loves to write reviews yet not fully a blogger and not facing the problems others may have, like ppl don’t have anywhere else to place their bad mood?
    Yes, me too, I judge according to my values and principles, but it mostly stays with me, it does depend from society where you are, if its not a “small town mentality” – well, this will too be a judgement, but there are cultural behaviors that just would purposely go on and on about differences, about false judgement/ labeling and willing to go on fights.
    I am glad with time you have come about to change your opinion and can actually write the paragraph facing the initial problem – hopefully it will work.. 🙂

  3. I agree so much with this. Honestly, I never see this stuff happen via blogs or instagram, its all on twitter. That definitely turns me off from twitter. It’s not a welcoming community on there a lot of time. I don’t judge people with a different opinion. HOWEVER if i see people insult the other side, then i think that says something about their way of handling situations. That gets me to unfollow people.

    Anywho, you’re right. People are SO quick to judge and a lot of people just look for fights. Its crazy. Hopefully it changes soon…
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  4. I am standing up right now and clapping. I could not agree more with that you have just said. The book community has turned into something that I hate sometimes. Sometimes that when I go onto twitter, I just see fights. It used to be my safe place where I could talk about things that I love, but now it’s turning into something where I want to close my eyes and pretend that it’s not there.

    I have currently doing nano and writing on my ms that I have been working on, and I have just discovered that I am so nervous to write it because they don’t like what they read. It has nothing to do with plot or characters, but with the way that I describe people. I am terrified to write characters that are POC. I am scared that something that I write, will be turned on it’s head, that my words will be twisted. I don’t even know what to do anymore.

    Thank you for the post, you took all my words right out of my mouth.
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  5. I totally agree with you here. I have actually lost “friends” this week due to a difference in opinion. I almost want to delete my twitter and stick to just blogging, but then I miss out on what I love to do. I will say that I feel good about sticking to my gut and avoiding people who cause me stress. I don’t unfollow people, but I can’t control those that do that to me. People are going to react however they want to.
    I agree that some authors don’t NEED to write diverse characters. It is nice to find diversity, but it should be done by writers who can do a good job with it and want to write those characters.
    Thanks for putting this out there and sharing your heart!
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  6. That can be such a hard lesson to learn. I think its important not to let those “issues” change friendships. Everyone can have a opinion right? I think its important to remember to not let other things like difference of opinion take away the friendships and bonding we make. Love this post and I think we all need a lesson in learning to be more accepting and not hating each other. I have seen this quite a bit since the election, and I just want to move to a deserted island right now just to get some peace and joy again. I am hoping the next two holidays will help heal rifts and be the best we can be.
    Fabulous post here!!!
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  7. This. Just…all of this. I was JUST talking to someone about a related topic last night and we were saying how we’re afraid to voice our opinions publicly because as soon as we do we’ll likely get attacked. Yet we managed to discuss it as civil adults in private. And as an aspiring author, I’m afraid to write anything sometimes because of how I see people lashing out at authors left and right.

    This isn’t what I signed up for when I joined the community years ago and it’s saddening to see the change. I’m with you on the feeling of just leaving it all behind and truly applaud you for coming out and saying all the things I wish I had the courage to say myself.

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