Hi everyone! I was going to write a review right here. But, as you can see, this is not a book review. It is a white flag. A flag raised up, declaring that my full blown, irritated, awakened depression has finally started to interfere with blogging to the point where I am panicking.
I don’t wish to take you down this road, but in short: my job sucks, I can’t stand other people, I’m failing at social media, I’m failing twice as hard on commenting on other’s blogs, and I’ve seemed to really fallen down into a reading dark hole. It isn’t a slump; there are plenty of books I want to read. But I can’t focus on the book for more than 20 minutes at a time before my brain starts kicking in and demanding that I continue to worry over issues I cannot fix or control.
I’m having flashbacks to 2013, when I was trying to complete my (worthless) degree and blogging with Kara as a two person team. We have more people now, but my motivation is now playing hide and seek, and I’m losing. Horribly, horribly losing.
So, I present to you: Book Blogging Depression, and Solutions to the Blogging Blues!
You Feel Disconnected from Social Media
Thank you to a handful of you who have not given up on me, and those that reach out to me. I swear, you are just the greatest people. I am on Twitter every day, and I read the interactions, but I feel more and more that I am just a clinger, a person who is just around.
Solution: Eat a cupcake, cry in bed with your cats
You’ve Lost the Motivation to Write Reviews
I am writing up some reviews for some ARCs (because I refuse to get behind on that), but when I read my own words, it is like they’re not me, like someone else is in control. Alien Fingers are writing my review. I wish my other self was a lot more witty and had a better vocabulary.
Solution: Get mad, go request more ARCs from Netgalley
You Get Behind on Commenting
To those of you who are commenting here, I hope karma is paying you back, because you rock. I see the e-mails and I have your pages bookmarked. I just severely suck right now, and I hope to not suck in the future.
Solution: See the number of e-mails, get anxious, go buy a new book.
Everything Distracts You From Reading/Interacting/Blogging/Ect
My poor co-bloggers are waiting on me to complete some artwork for Story Sprites. And yet, I am looking up cat pictures on the internet. Because I have the attention span of a goldfish.
Solution: ??????!!!!!! Continue to disappoint your friends and family
Lose Your Book
I’ve lost my copy of Passenger three times now, even though I am enjoying it. Because an apartment the size of a matchbox is big enough to steal all of your freaking stuff in a heartbeat.
Solution: Cry in the shower, find book under pillow after the shower
Disappear from the Internet
I should just change my name to Carmen San Diego.
Solution: Mask your guilt with Neko Atsume
Continue To Avoid Review Writing….
….by writing discussion posts.
Solution: Write a list and slap in some gifs, because the comedy relief would help right about now.
In short: I’m sorry. I’m trying. I win some days. I fail other days. I am actively trying to change the crappy situation, but change is slow. I’m maxed on medication for depression/anxiety, and I am trying other solutions, such as physical movement and positive thinking.
I hope to get back on my feet one day. Until then, don’t feel shy for stopping by and checking up on me as I lie on the floor and bawl about the injustices of the world.