Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas
Series: Throne of Glass #1
Published by Bloomsbury on August 2nd, 2012
Genres: fantasy, young adult
Buy on Amazon
Meet Celaena Sardothien.
Beautiful. Deadly. Destined for greatness.
In the dark, filthy salt mines of Endovier, an eighteen-year-old girl is serving a life sentence. She is a trained assassin, the best of her kind, but she made a fatal mistake: she got caught.
Young Captain Westfall offers her a deal: her freedom in return for one huge sacrifice. Celaena must represent the prince in a to-the-death tournament—fighting the most gifted thieves and assassins in the land. Live or die, Celaena will be free. Win or lose, she is about to discover her true destiny. But will her assassin’s heart be melted?
This is going to be brutal. Expect gifs. Lots and lots of gifs.
First of all, the cover is a lie. The paperback cover was a lot more honest about the book than the awesome cover.
Cover #1 is a throne of lies. Cover #2 is the novel in picture form.
I went in with low expectations as well. To be honest, I was just reading this one to get to the second one. So I go in, knowing what I am getting into, and I am still a ball of rage at the end.
I’m not even going to humor you with a “What Worked” and “What Didn’t Work”. Category A can be summed up as this: The book ended. Best part of the entire damn novel.
So what happened? What made me want to scratch out my own eyeballs?
First of all: Celaena Sardothien.
I don’t want to say she was a Mary Sue, because that would be an insult to Mary Sues everywhere. I mean, what assassin wouldn’t prance around, thinking about their own looks, mentally whimper when every guy in the world doesn’t fall at her feet, lay around in bed (no, not for sex, just…laying), wonder what book to read, wonder if the totally hot prince likes her, oh, and mildly train for a high-stakes fight-to-the-death competition? If this is what we want to call a “female role model,” then we are screwed as a gender. Poorly executed, simpering, and completely absorbed in her own appearance with no substance. Towards the end of the book, I seriously did not care if she lived or died.
Next, the love triangle.
Look, I don’t mind a well rounded love triangle. But this whole “pit best friends against one another” thing is OLD. Both of the men were so poorly written, how could one be better than the other? The world could have blown up, and I would not have blinked an eye. I am also done with reading 100+ lines of “Oh, he is so hot!” “He has beautiful, unique eyes” and the ever wonderful internal dialogue about how the heroine is forbidden to love. Oh, and both of the men will just go out of their way for little Miss Special Snowflake, because she is just so beautiful and perfect and such a bad-ass and they HAVE to protect her! Her superpower was TALKING SHIT IN HER HEAD. All bark and no bite. Everyone was convinced that she was a high and mighty warrior woman.
If you are going to write about assassins, murder, mystery and a bad-ass test of survival, then WRITE about it. Eating candy got more script than the actual tests and any real action. Thinking about the “tuew feelings of teh hot menz” was rewarded paragraphs upon paragraphs of writing! Internal dialogue on the ease and method of murdering anyone near Miss Perfect was more common than ACTUAL FIGHTING.
The very tests that could send our beloved Miss Perfect right back into forced slavery. Just like Twilight, anything interesting that leaned towards freaking awesome happened somewhere in the background. Miss Perfect had to complete a set of tests before a final duel. All but one of these tests happened outside of the writing. Sometimes, it was simply mentioned in a handful of sentences, while we are treated to paragraphs of the absolute perfection of Celaena.
Lastly, the characters.
Didn’t take much to find out who was who. The main bad guy? Might as well have drawn a goatee on him. The other awesome girl? Yeah, no surprise. The supernatural powerful being? No shock. Color by number writing. I could not muster the concern nor the feelings for any of these lackluster characters. I put in as much care as the author when it came to the characters.
THIS was hailed as the “Game of Thrones for women”?! A shoddy fantasy book more concerned about dresses and hair than actually fighting? The marketing teams believes that THIS will draw high fantasy female lovers?!
Will I read the second one? Yes, yes I will. Bloggers and readers I trust say that it is a huge improvement over this one. However, it wouldn’t take much to help this series.