I’m not. And I had planned to talk about book covers this week. I really wanted to discuss the types of covers that make me pick a book off a shelf or add it to my TBR. That post will come later, but I felt there was a more pressing issue to discuss this week.
I read a post and a couple of comments that made me think. They didn’t make me angry or anything, but they did make me ponder what that blogger was saying and how it affected me as a member of this community. That post is here from Renae at Respiring Thoughts, and you can read it if you want to understand what exactly inspired this post.
So what upset me? That she feels this way, basically. And that a couple of my good friends in the comments feel similarly. Feeling alienated and not a part of the community you once felt you belonged to has to be disappointing. I will admit that I’ve felt this before towards the beginning year of this blog. But since I found Lyn and made some other great friends in this community, I do feel like a part of it.
Making friends has always been a difficult undertaking for me. And I don’t want the people that I consider good friends to feel that I am not giving them enough attention. I am socially awkward and I have anxiety and sometimes I need to take a break and get my sanity back, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love this community as much as I did the day I started blogging. Actually, I love it more. But that doesn’t change the fact that at times I feel insecure. And after seeing that post, I did. Because I feel like I’ve tried so hard to make people like me. And I don’t want anyone to feel unwelcome in this community we have built.
And I’m not saying that people DON’T like me. And I know that post was not about me personally. But I will admit I am now wondering if I have done something wrong, because as a member of this community, I have made friends and it is my JOB as a friend to make people feel loved and accepted. There are days I am barely on Twitter because I have to edit. Or I have a migraine. Or there is drama and my anxiety just can’t handle it. And I do feel like lately I have been spending more time away, so in a sense, I can relate to Renae and the people in the comments. But I still love this place here and what we have all built together.
So basically, what I want to know is how you feel. I know that most of my readers are other bloggers, but I know I have authors and readers that don’t blog reading this as well. Do you have trouble making friends? As an introvert, making friends can be tough. I do not stand out at parties. In fact, I really HATE parties. I feel like I never know the right thing to say, and I KNOW I suck at small talk. I don’t know the right questions to ask people about their lives, and I always feel like I am being too nosy or overstepping my boundaries. But I also know that’s the only way to really get to know someone.
And also, if you are a blogger, how do you feel? Do you feel left out? Do you feel the community is too cliquey? What do you think other bloggers can do to be more welcoming?
I really value all the blogs I read. But, I have a hell of a time keeping up with commenting and I know I suck at it. I am lucky if I can make my way around to the blogs I read once a week. And when I am editing, like I am now, I have even less time. I still have to read and clean house and spend time with my husband. Oh, and blog. Which is the most important part, right? I am SO not good at time management. And I procrastinate a lot.
So it may seem like I’m standoffish, but I always want people to know they can talk to me about anything. I am great at keeping secrets. I try to be a good listener. I love helping people. But I generally let people come to me, and so it’s not easy for me to be chatty. It’s just not my thing. And part of knowing who you are as a person and growing is knowing what you can and can’t do. Posting this discussion was a huge thing for me to do because I am REALLY going out of my comfort zone here. I don’t like to let my weaknesses show.
But I love this community and I want to do what I can to keep it together. And this is why I want to hear from you.